Occupation: Fashion and Costume designer
Instagram: tahveeyahchism
HOW DID YOU IDENTIFY YOUR PASSION AND THE WORK THAT SATISFIED YOU VERSUS WORK THAT JUST PAID THE BILLS?
With regards to this, I consider myself a part of a lucky few. Both my parents are artists, my Mother a dancer and my Father a writer and teacher who was affectionately known as ‘The Wordsmith’ . They taught my 5 siblings and I to find something you love and turn that passion into how you make your living. For them it was important that whatever we did for the rest of our lives was something we loved. That’s what success meant to them.
WHO WILL ETERNALLY BE A WOMAN YOU ADMIRE AND RESPECT, AND WHY?
Definitely my Mothers. Yes, that’s a plural. I had a very unorthodox childhood and was lucky enough to have two mothers. Both very different but both very strong, independent and hard working women who taught me never to be afraid to speak my mind and never be defined by my gender – two lessons I now realise were very important to get me through my life.
IN LIGHT OF YOUR UNDERSTANDING OF OUR HASHTAG #WHYITRIBE, WHY DO YOU THINK IT IS IMPORTANT TO CELEBRATE WHO WE ALREADY ARE TODAY?
It’s important to celebrate who we already are because I think as women, our default setting is that we are constantly in a race towards this unreachable idea of perfection. Whether it’s physically, mentally or emotionally. By taking a moment to actually celebrate ourselves and each other. No matter where we might be in our personal journey or however “ imperfect “ it might seem, I believe that is where true magic happens.
NAME A TIME RECENTLY WHEN YOU SAID SOMETHING GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF/HOW DID THAT MAKE YOU FEEL?
I am the daughter of a dancer. Meaning I grew up very active. When I wasn’t dancing it was working out and constantly keeping in shape. Now I’m a mom of three incredible children and my body is not the same as it used to be and I unfortunately don’t have the time to commit to exercise like I used to. I do however manage to find the time to constantly point out my flaws; “look how fat I’ve gotten and look and my thighs they used to be so much stronger“ etc etc. I had to make a drastic change in my attitude when my daughter who’s made it a habit to sit next to me any time I’m dressing, asked me did her stomach look too fat – a habit she’d picked up from me and she’s 7 years old. Of course I responded in my best mommy voice “ of course not! You are perfect and your body is perfect “ . Since then I’ve been doing my best to compliment myself, try to enjoy and celebrate my body as it is now. I have to say, it feels much better than putting myself down.
WHY DO YOU THINK WOMEN SHY AWAY FROM CELEBRATING OR PRAISING THEMSELVES SO MUCH?
I think woman shy away from complimenting themselves simply because society warps their understanding of beauty and frowns upon body positivity, dismissing it as arrogant rantings of a dissatisfied and insecure woman.
HOW DO YOU OVERCOME THE TENDENCY TO DISCREDIT COMPLIMENTS YOU ARE GIVEN?
Wow! This is a good question because it is such a problem specially amongst women. I think first make in a habit to compliment yourself and if you believe it about yourself, it will be easier to believe and accept that others believe it about you.
WHO WAS THE FIRST FEMALE TO TEACH YOU OR INSPIRE YOU TO FEEL THAT #YOUAREENOUGH?
My older sister. Becoming a teenager is a tough time, and anytime I was put down or someone tried to make me feel less than – my sister was right there to shut them up and to let me know not to take in one word they said because I was more than enough.
HOW DOES SOCIETY REINFORCE THE IDEA THAT WE, AS WOMEN, ARE NOT ENOUGH AND HOW CAN WE TAKE THAT POWER BACK?
No, I don’t think that we are and therein lies the problem. I think the way to solve this is, if you’re a mom tell your daughter, if you’re an aunt tell your nieces, if you’re a sister tell your sisters that they are enough. Tell it to each other and tell it to yourself over and over until it’s the only thing you believe.
ARE WE TOLD ENOUGH AS YOUNG GIRLS THAT #WEAREENOUGH? IF NOT, HOW CAN WE CHANGE THIS MESSAGING FOR YOUNG GIRLS TODAY?
Society is never and will never be satisfied! If you’re a stay at home mom, you’re not working so you’re not an independent woman. If you’re working, you’re not a good mother. We could apply this thinking to so many different situations in our lives. And it’s such a ridiculous notion but the worst part is, it’s not the same for men. Society has put this enormous amount of pressure on us as women and in the end we are left constantly feeling like we will never be good enough or fully accomplished at anything. The only solution would be to change this concept and backward idea of what it means to be enough.
WHAT WOULD YOU GO BACK AND TELL YOUR YOUNGER SELF, TO ENCOURAGE SELF-ESTEEM AND SELF-LOVE?
If I could go back I would tell my younger self, trust yourself, follow your instincts and have more confidence.
WHERE DO YOU THINK THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH OTHER WOMEN COMES FROM? IS IT TAUGHT?
It’s definitely learned behaviour. It’s passed down through tradition, culture and even family structures. “A lady doesn’t sit like that” , “That’s not how a young woman acts” – these are great examples of how we’re taught consciously and unconsciously to create a system to be judged by.
WHY IS THE TRIBE MOVEMENT IMPORTANT?
I think #TheTribe is important because behind every successful woman there is a lineage of other women pushing her forward. I am a die hard believer in this concept. Women’s power comes from us standing together and we’ve proven this over and over again throughout history.
HOW ARE YOU TRYING TO KEEP YOUR SELF-ESTEEM UP IN THE MIDST OF THIS GLOBAL PANDEMIC AND WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO OTHERS READING THIS?
I’ve kept my confidence up by doing my best to focus on the positive rather than the negative, which was not as easy in the beginning because I am a person who needs to constantly be moving forward. The lockdown period forced us all into a stand still. I soon realized that there were so many things that I put on the back of the shelf for when ‘’I find the time ‘’ but in this lock down I could unpack that shelf so to speak. And due to that my family and I are in a much better place now. So I would say use the time to find your positive and focus on that.
© 2020 | THE TRIBE™
