Tessa Schiethart

Occupation: Coach and Writer

Website: www.tofacetheworld.com

Instagram: tofacetheworld

HOW DID YOU IDENTIFY YOUR PASSION AND THE WORK THAT SATISFIED YOU VERSUS WORK THAT JUST PAID THE BILLS?
I write, because it is my passion, but I have never wanted to solely base my income on it, as I expect my writing to be impacted by it then. I coach people, because it is my passion, but I don’t want to be dependent on attracting clients for the sake of income. For many years I worked in industries that I love, in a job that paid my bills next to studying intensively. I have always worked next to my intellectual, spiritual and creative endeavors. I love to live a creative life, but make sure my creativity will not be impacted by the pressure of paying the bills. These are reasons I also try and create income elsewhere.

WHO WILL ETERNALLY BE A WOMAN YOU ADMIRE AND RESPECT, AND WHY?
My mom. How cliche, but it is true. She raised me to be the independent, positive and confident women that I am today and she has given up tremendously for me. She has fought for my well-being in times that doctors made terrible mistakes. In addition to that, I have some really close girl-friends that inspire me on a daily basis as well as some public female figures that I draw inspiration from like Marie Forleo, Elizabeth Gilbert and many more.

IN LIGHT OF YOUR UNDERSTANDING OF OUR HASHTAG #WHYITRIBE, WHY DO YOU THINK IT IS IMPORTANT TO CELEBRATE WHO WE ALREADY ARE TODAY? I think that our own perception of ourselves is sometimes clouded by outside measurements of what we think we should be. We are all influenced by social conditioning but in a world where there is an increased focus on outwardness, looks, social media appearances, I think it is so relevent for us to tap into authenticity and show the world what is really true for us, and in that find our tribe too. To share as women, as a sisterhood. We sometimes strive to be something or someone, but let us appreaciate where we stand now, and let us be inspired of all the lessons we still need to learn as well.

NAME A TIME RECENTLY WHEN YOU SAID SOMETHING GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF/HOW DID THAT MAKE YOU FEEL?
I have lately gone through some challenging times with my eyesight, and my eye condition. I have recently had surgery, and I was so proud of myself how calmly, strongly, and mindfully I breathed through the whole OR experience. Laying in the doctors room, with so much sterile stuff around, with many doctors concerned over my head performing surgery in my eye, while I lay there, present, under the OR-coverings breathing. I said to myself, you are doing so great.

WHY DO YOU THINK WOMEN SHY AWAY FROM CELEBRATING OR PRAISING THEMSELVES SO MUCH?
I don’t know if we are, but many of us have been educated to not take up space. Women are taught different things to men for decades. Where boys are taught ‘boys don’t cry’, resulting in repressed emotions in men, I believe women are taught to ‘be sweet and smart’, to not make fuss. This might to some degree result in refraining from celebrating themselves.

HOW DO YOU OVERCOME THE TENDENCY TO DISCREDIT COMPLIMENTS YOU ARE GIVEN?
I have studied buddhism and yogic principles extensively, and through my coaching, and being coached, I have learned the meaning behind not being able to take in compliments. Many of us downgrade the compliments we are given. I have done so too, but have really learned to appreciate, as well as criticism that I get. I aim to receive both with as much compassion and humility as I can. I have been told many times, “Oh you, are so strong in how you deal with your birthmark”. And I have heard myself say often enough: “Oh, it is just a birthmark, I am used to it – I don’t know better!”, whereas actually, yes, it is also fiercely cool how I wear my birthmark with confidence. I am much better in taking in those compliments today.

WHO WAS THE FIRST FEMALE TO TEACH YOU OR INSPIRE YOU TO FEEL THAT #YOUAREENOUGH?
My mom <3. My parents have always taught me that whatever I did was good, as long as I did it with my best intentions. I did not need to get the highest grades, as long as I had the intention to study for it. They did not push me to some path, but stimulated me tremendously in where my path was, to find it, however I would walk it. HOW DOES SOCIETY REINFORCE THE IDEA THAT WE, AS WOMEN, ARE NOT ENOUGH AND HOW CAN WE TAKE THAT POWER BACK? I think the media plays a tremendous role in portraying certain role models, images, and a perfect picture. I think we need more diversity and inclusion in the media to paint a fuller picture, and I do think we all have a responsibility in contributing to that, especially those that are working in the media landscape. We are served with a picture of how we should look, feel, act, be, become, perform, and behave. But in fact, there is no one way but our own, and we can find the power within ourselves and question what serves us and what not. ARE WE TOLD ENOUGH AS YOUNG GIRLS THAT #WEAREENOUGH? IF NOT, HOW CAN WE CHANGE THIS MESSAGING FOR YOUNG GIRLS TODAY? I think it really depends on your background. I was told I was enough more than enough by my close family. But of course there were certain currents that I as a young girl was influenced by, societal currents, standards, that have also impacted me. But in general, I think parents have a tremendous responsibility as well as we ourselves have over our own mind and the thoughts we think. I really believe in transformation of the mind, in meditation and contemplative practices, to come closer to who we are and what we want to be in this world. I think those answers lie within us, so it does not matter with a contemplative practice if you are told you are enough, because you will know from within too. Being told you are enough, becomes an additional source of information that you already know from within. WHAT WOULD YOU GO BACK AND TELL YOUR YOUNGER SELF, TO ENCOURAGE SELF-ESTEEM AND SELF- LOVE? Trust more: the people, and the process you are in. I would also tell myself that I am doing great already, and no need to doubt that. WHERE DO YOU THINK THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH OTHER WOMEN COMES FROM? IS IT TAUGHT? I don’t feel the need to compete with others so I wouldn’t know. I am not good with competitions in general: I feel sorry for the losing party and mingle with that party then... WHY IS THE TRIBE MOVEMENT IMPORTANT? I think it is a beautiful initiative for women to share, connect, inspire and learn and eventually become closer to one another no matter where our differences lie. HOW ARE YOU TRYING TO KEEP YOUR SELF-ESTEEM UP IN THE MIDST OF THIS GLOBAL PANDEMIC AND WHAT ADVICE WOUDL YOU GIVE TO OTHERS READING THIS? I live in The Netherlands and I believe we have coped quite well with the pandemic thus far. I myself work from home and online mostly, and have not been impacted tremendously work-wise, but also not personally. I love my home space, and have had no trouble spending days at home in quarantine. It has given me an opportunity to turn even more inward, to reflect on where I stand and where I want to go. I do believe that this pandemic brings tremendous challenges on a collective level and have no doubt some of us are struggling and because of that I do offer my service, by coaching, by writing. I would advise others to reach out to like-minded people, connect, use the cyberspace to your advantage and connect while you cannot in reallife. Learn a new skill is also something I always support when we feel challenged. And asked yourself, what is it that challenges me, and can I turn it around for myself? When it comes to my self-esteem: it is not necessarily impacted by the global pandemic in that sense.