Rosemary Cary

HOW DID YOU IDENTIFY YOUR PASSION AND THE WORK THAT SATISFIED YOU VERSUS WORK THAT JUST PAID THE BILLS?

When I stopped working it was because of my health. And it has continued to be for this reason yet in this time, I was allowed to be more available to my children; show up more for them at school; sports; at home, etc. I was also allowed to care for my self. Learn self-love. Heal parts of me that were out of my control in my diseases. I was able to learn how to exist in pain and live by choosing joy.

And then I found my passion in writing. And in writing, I not only healed my self to heal but helped other women do the same. Plus where I was able to forgive my broken parts, I helped others do the same. My tribe here is family to me. We love and inspire each other on the daily. I can’t imagine doing life without them.

WHO WILL ETERNALLY BE A WOMAN YOU ADMIRE AND RESPECT, AND WHY? My mother-in-love, Bardie (I call her, Mommy). She’s actually my step-mother-in-love but all the labels sound awful. She’s the mother I always dreamt about and I believe God brought us together.

She is such an incredible strength in my life. She reminds me how strong I am. She shows up with me to all of the hard stuff. She sees the very messiest, brutally painful side of me and loves me through anyway.

And together feels so natural. She brings such a Light into not only my life but I watch her bring that same Light into every life she passes through. She is so God-filled, and she reminds me to do the same. Yes, we’ve got this AND God’s got us. I’ve never known that unconditional “Momma Lovin”, and now I do. My life has changed immeasurably with her.

IN LIGHT OF YOUR UNDERSTANDING OF OUR HASHTAG #WHYITRIBE, WHY DO YOU THINK IT IS IMPORTANT TO CELEBRATE WHO WE ALREADY ARE TODAY?

For me personally, I think it’s important to model that for my daughter, so she can see that it’s okay to celebrate who she is now and going forward. I want her to know that no matter what she does, be it how she chooses joy or is building her friends up instead of pulling them down or an accomplishment in school or making a team sport, whatever it is, she can feel good about it and celebrate. I don’t wish her to ever play small.

I believe that WHY I TRIBE is so important for our girls growing up today. I believe we need to change the view for them.

NAME A TIME RECENTLY WHEN YOU SAID SOMETHING GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF/HOW DID THAT MAKE YOU FEEL?

I said recently that though I am viewed as handicap/disabled, I see my SELF as handi-capable and able-bodied. I am not the person I was before two of my brain surgeries and the diseases of my cranial nerves, instead I am someone learning to live a new normal. Owning that was hard and necessary. I know that I am viewed this way by many people and it’s of no malice by them. However, it’s hard. Learning a new normal is hard and it’s beautiful. Claiming my new self, embracing this new life was like coming up for air. It allowed me to breathe. And that is how I keep going.

WHY DO YOU THINK WOMEN SHY AWAY FROM CELEBRATING OR PRAISING THEMSELVES SO MUCH?

I think they’ve grown up believing that was a selfish thing to do. I could never do it. I think we never knew what celebrating or praising ourselves looked like. My mother never did that. It was only in recent years I learned the difference between being selfish and practicing self-love, the difference between being a show off and acknowledging my truth and the beauty in that.

HOW DO YOU OVERCOME THE TENDENCY TO DISCREDIT COMPLIMENTS YOU ARE GIVEN?

I once received a compliment from another woman and when I did and downplayed it, she said that I just that her compliment just bounced off of me and smacked her in the face. That is what my not accepting her compliment felt like. She then told me that even if I didn’t believe a compliment, I should just say, “thank you”. I started practicing it and now it’s ingrained in me. And now I say that same thing to other women about the smack in the face.

WHY IS THE TRIBE MOVEMENT IMPORTANT?

Like I stated before, for our daughter’s future. AND for all women in the now. We have so much to offer each other and together, we rise.

Occupation: Stay at home Mom

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Instagram: thejoywarrior